Monday, April 09, 2007

I'm so crazy

I had some time to reminisce this evening as I was going through some files on my computer. One file folder that I spent some time in this evening had files I created when I was at my last teaching job. I must say that I had forgotten about some of that stuff, and some of you might not believe it — I miss good ol' Conway High.

I know, I know. I griped and moaned about this and that while I was there, but I started remembering all of the students I enjoyed having and the classes I loved to teach. Unfortunately, I can't say that I have a class that I love to teach right now, and I feel as though my "teaching groove" has slowly dissipated to darn near nothing in my year teaching at the middle school level. In a sense, it's a saddening thought, but sometimes I feel like I need to make a transition to a new career. I feel like a crappy teacher now and don't know if I can recover to become a good one. Like a colleague of mine who is not returning to my middle school next year said, I'll take fifty percent of the blame with my attitude toward being here, but the other half is the kids. It's odd, but there is something so strangely different about the students where I am teaching. I don't even know if it's the fact that they're middle schoolers or not, because that same colleague taught middle school at her previous school. I don't know what the deal is, quite honestly. It's as though these kids don't act like we as teachers are human beings — like there is a wall where relationships between students and teachers aren't to be made, whereas at my last school there was no way out of developing a relationship with the students.

What the future holds, I have no idea. I wish I had a clue, but for now all I can do is pray. I would ask that you pray for my situation, too.

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.
— James 5:16

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